Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
