Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can text with my tongue
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
