So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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