Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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