what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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