Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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