Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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