Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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