it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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