We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
