she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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