I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
