my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
