Please, let me fuck your mom
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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