this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
