Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
