I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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