Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
