Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
