I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
