i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
