operation harelip BJ is a go
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
