i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
