The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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