I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
