i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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