the new term for farting is butt boxing.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
