I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She even gives head with a lisp.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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