haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
