HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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