dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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