Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
