Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
