Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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