So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
