well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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