so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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