Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Less talking, more tequila
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
