Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
