I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
