I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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