and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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