What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
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Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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