i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
smell my finger.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
