im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
