I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
