my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize