we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
