Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
