if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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