3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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