My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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