Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
