i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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