there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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