I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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