That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
