I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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