the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
