Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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