What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
