ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
