he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
