yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
